Tabaash - channeled by Blair Styra

Blair's Blurb

 

 

29 June 2011

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Today one of my best friends flew off into the world to begin a new life in another country.

We had our last gym workout together in the afternoon, spent some time afterwards talking and sharing, feeling closer and tighter as brother’s.

Then it was time to go and say our goodbyes, and the tears unashamedly flowed as they do now as I write these words.

Quite simply, I love him and am proud to be his brother.

Another flew off to England the next day a true lifelong brother, whom I cherish, writing another page in the story of his life. I feel so honoured and fortunate to have as friends some good decent men who have the openness and honesty to allow their gentle and feeling selves to blend well with their powerful masculinity, creating beautiful and wonderful men.

So many men shy away from such relationships with their mates engaging instead with the old stereotypical, punching on the shoulder man to man relationship.

Though I’m sure there are many who may disagree, the evolution of the male of the species has been quite progressive over the last two decades.

Men seemed to have found a harmony within them allowing themselves more freedom of emotion and expression.

 

Mates

With my mates I can talk with them about anything, we can all cry together and show our vulnerability and fear.

We are able to be open and honest about all things in life and what’s happening in our own lives.

We can also go to the pub, make stupid jokes and comments and pretty well indulge each other in our blokeness!

Having these guys in my life is such a privilege and it’s hard to imagine what life would be like without them.

And yet that is exactly what is happening, as some of them are move on in the pursuance of bigger dreams.

 

Energy called friendship

It makes me think of the people that have come and gone in my life and the influences they have had on me, some more major than others. And it makes me think about this energy called friendship and what it means to us all in the bigger scale of life.

Obviously we have all known our friends in other life times, that’s why we once again have them in this life. When I look back at the patterns of my own friendships I see that there were certain people that came into my life at certain times. 

The male influences in my life were aspects of my own personal masculinity giving me the reflections I needed at the time, at times they were painful reflections as what I perceived then as my own shortcomings.

We all help each other to grow up and I just wish that more people saw that, and lived like that. It would certainly save a lot of emotional pain that we put ourselves through.

 

Unusual

When I was younger I was on the “outside” being deemed to “unusual” and “strange” to be accepted by the status quo.

Of course the unspoken but recognized hierarchical systems that pervade every child’s life at times were very evident and as a child you soon learn to conform to those systems. It’s quite simply survival of the fittest.

There were the popular guys that everybody wanted to be like, people swarming to these young guys in the supposed hope that some of that they had would brush off.

Me, I kept my distance, my head down and got on as best as I could despite at times the taunts and bullying, which at times was physically aggressive.

Yeah it hurt me and my feelings and my body, but it also strengthened my character and me, in ways that were vital to the man I was to become.

It’s very easy to be inducted into fear when you go though such things in life.

Allowing the fear to govern your life, rather then your own ideas and talents and power.

 

Looking for the better man

As a 50 year old man, (I have to admit writing that has its certain “cringe” factor,) I laugh when I realize that at this time of my life “I’, have become one of the popular guys. And I have surrounded myself with powerful and successful reflections of my own masculinity that give me a greater chance to know the better man in me.

That’s important for all men to keep looking for the better man on a daily bases, knowing that at every moment they can give themselves a better chance to be more in every way.

There are a lot of young men out there who I see with uncertainty and fear about their own identity as men, and I urge you to develop wonderful relationships with the men in your life.

Let them know how much you care, let them know that you have needs.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and help each other grow up. Live and laugh, share and communicate what you feel and think on all levels.

Be leaders for each other and be pals and mates.

If you feel that there are those you know and love and you see them standing on the edge, and you can help, then do what you can do.

 

Be Your Brothers Keeper.

To Banksie, Bryan, Chris, David, Mitch, Ross, Scott and Tosh. I love you with all my heart.

Thank you for being in my life and being my brothers.

Blair

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